Ligtbulb!

I've always been more comfortable writing essays. My poetry rhymes but never has any depth. My stories are sloppily written and usually awkwardly phrased.

But I realized just how much I want to be able to write fiction. I envy writers who are able to weave from the corners of their minds plots that keep you on the edge and turn a complete 180 to slap you in the face when you least expect it.

So now, I want to practice writing stories. I don't know how to pace dialogue or insert emotions or portray body language, but I'll figure it out!


Just you wait, my name will be on the cover of the next best-seller

“Fiction reveals truth that reality obscures.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Cheers!

-jejecola-

Outlet

Facebook has become an outlet for me to pour out my heart and soul. The problem being, it is far too public. Although i know that, it doesn't stop me from expressing my innermost feelings. So I've asked my friend to change my password in hopes of relieving me of my destructive habit. Destructive because when you share your feelings like that, i think in a sense, you're feeding it too. I've always found solace in ranting. But why rant when nobody wants to listen? Here, very few people read my blog. And so it's more of just letting it out to myself mostly.

I'll leave you here. Perhaps in the days to come, my updates will become more frequent, and made of more sensible stuff :)

Cheers!

Frustrated Writer

I've come to a horrible realization.

Many times, I've opened this page in hopes of writing something new. I think of a topic I really want to write about...and I get half way through. And then, I save it as a draft. I don't know when I'll ever get around to finish them.

So, frustrated as I was looking at my long lists of drafts. Taunted by the blue button beside it that says, "edit post", I realized, when I didn't consider myself a "writer", I wrote plenty. I didn't even have to think about it and it just came out of me. Word after word, phrase after phrase, sentence after sentence, and voila! a pretty good essay or story or poem was created.

And the second I began to overthink everything. It became difficult to create anything at all. Or rather, create anything that I thought was good enough. Because I'm so wrapped around writing something "good", I stop trying altogether for fear I might not be good enough after all. That maybe I've deluded myself into thinking I had something when it came to writing. And that's just a load of...something nasty.
While part of me is sullen and sulking, the rest of me is just screaming to myself, "oh for goodness sake, GET OVER YOURSELF!" and that's just what I plan to do. Because I love to write, why should I stop myself because of some irrelevant insecurity, why should I even care for that matter if I'm good enough now. There's always room to get better. And if I don't try, I'll never get to where "better" is.
Sure, I may not be a nobel-prize winning author, and though I aspire to be, it might not even happen. But all those award-winning writers didn't get to where they are now by sitting at home wailing about how they might not be good enough.

Because, while over-confidence isn't desirable, having none is just as bad.And a writer who's afraid to write has to be a bad joke of some sort. I've found something I love to do, and I'm going to run with it.

My Resolve To Write Daily

I actually have another blog, but I thought I'd make a new one just to make it "official".

So basically, I'll try to write everyday. And it might not always be substantial or deep or poetic but I'll do it everyday. (Unless I have a very good reason keeping me from writing.)

I'm doing this is because 1, I keep telling myself that I don't have the time to write... and when I do have the time, I end up not writing anything anyway. So this will hopefully remedy that little problem. 2, I'm taking a medical course and might not survive if I'm too focused on the science. This will be my way of wallowing in what's left of my art. (Sigh...)

I'm not even sure if anyone will read this... but I'm doing this for me, and the dream of actually becoming a "real" writer.

This will consist of the morning pages, which by definition, will be written in the morning. (Go figure.) I actually took that idea from this creative writing workshop I was just in. We were encouraged to do this, so I'm going to. Also, if ever I have anything else interesting to put down, or maybe a new poem if I come up with one, or just some random thought I'd like to blab on about, kinda like what I'll do if I don't stop now.

Yes, that's pretty much it.

I'll start tomorrow :)